Six Years Forgotten, Forever Remembered
by crystaltears16
Summary: For the next six years, they would love her, but then something happens, and suddenly she's lost. What happens when she suddenly turns up fourteen years later, but doesn't remember them? AU, Addeky, but some MerDer.
1. Lana Caoimhe Parker

**A/N; This is a shooort chapter, which is basically the introduction to the story..But they will get longer, so R&R pretty please wrapped in a warm blanket and a spork on top..haha :-D**

**I don't own anything or anyone except for Lana.**

_They walked down the hospital corridor, a newborn baby in their arms. For the next six years, they would love her, care for her, be her parents. Little did they know that one day, everything would change, and their lives wouldn't be the same again._

Lana Caoimhe Parker strolled along the pier towards the ferryboats. She was strangely drawn to them, as if there was a connection that ran deeply than the mere object. She stood over the rail and embraced the wind blowing through her long red hair. Her father had been admitted to Seattle Grace Hospital for a heart transplant. Her mother had also been admitted, for subsequent head trauma and several deep gashes. She had lived fourteen years, fourteen good, happy years. But in one month, her security crumbled around her as her life quickly unravelled before her eyes. What she thought she knew, quickly disintegrated into nothingness, and she was left to question who she truly was.

* * *

Her footsteps echoed the eerily quiet halls of the surgical wing as she approached to the nurses station. A woman a few inches taller than herself, with exact colour hair was standing examining a chart. Alana waited for a nurse to come to her assistance, and the tall redhead flipped closed the chart and briefly closed her eyes. Alana tapped her fingers on the desk, and the woman opened her eyes.

"Hey, do you need any help?"

"Err yeah, I'm looking for my parents, the surname is Parker..I'm their daughter, Lana. Do you know where they are?" Lana asked back, having the same strange feeling as when she approached the ferryboats. Lana saw the flash of recognition in the woman's eyes, and waited patiently, assuming she knew where they were.

* * *

Addison stared into the mirrored eyes, a mixture of feelings rising up from the pit of her stomach. _It can't be. _Addison shook her head of her hopes, and numbly pointed in the direction of the rooms in which Lana's parents were situated in. Lana nodded thanks, and set off towards her parents. As soon as she was out of sight, Addison breathed a sigh of relief, and leant back against the desk.

_Why can't she remember me?_

* * *

**A/N; Okay, that was short, but that was pretty much an introductory chapter, and things will be explained in later chapters, or next..flashbacks next chapter, which will clear up a thing or two.. I'm not gonna be able to update for a while, because I have damn exams next week, and a ton of Geography homework to do, but I'll try my best..Oh, and the name Caoimhe is Irish, and is somewhat pronounced "Kee-va" I got pretty confused, so I looked it up :-D Anyway review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Slowly Remembering

**A/N; Well..second chapter..Took me a loooong time to write, mainly because of damn school. I hope this chapter fills any confusion, but if not, drop me a review, and I'll try attempt to "fix" it.**

* * *

The rain hammered down on the windows as Lana looked out. She was sat by her mother's side, gently squeezing her hand. Her father had just gone into surgery, and Lana had mixed feelings about whether she wanted him to survive. She looked down at her mother's bruised face, wandering how something like that could have happened over the years without her noticing it.

"Mom..I'm so sorry.. I should have stopped him.. I'm so sorry.." Lana said softly, fighting back tears that threatened to escape. She refused to break down, she would be strong, for her and her mother's sake.

An attending, Bailey and her stream of interns trailed into the room quietly. Bailey cleared her throat, and Lana looked up. She acutely nodded as she let go of her mother's hand as a handsome Doctor began to speak.

"Maria Parker, 37 years old, suffers from internal bleeding and head trauma, also has some unexplainable bruising around her lower stomach, upper chest and face." He finished speaking as Bailey handed him the chart.

"She's yours Karev, schedule an MRI and get back to Dr Shepherd with the results."

Derek walked briskly through to the NICU searching for Addison. He saw her hunched over an isolette, examining a baby's pupil.

"When were you going to tell me she's here?" Derek asked her, waiting for her response.

"When I found time to find you." She coldly replied, turning around with her hands on her hips. "Do you really think I wouldn't tell you that our own daughter whom we haven't seen in eight years is in this hospital?"

Derek ran his hands through his hair, a million thoughts running through his mind. He was happy with Meredith, and then Lana had turned up.

"Does she know we work here?"

"No. I don't think she knows who we are." Addison turned back to the isolette, not wanting Derek to see the tears forming behind her eyelids.

"What? But she was with us for six years!"

"I know." Addison whispered quietly, not hearing Derek walk up behind her. A tear fell, and she wiped it away discreetly. He hovered over her, not knowing how to approach the situation. Addison turned her head away, a sign for him to leave.

_She lay trembling in the alley, she stayed for a few minutes, before picking herself up and attempting to find her way home. A random middle-aged woman approached her, asking is she was okay. She shied away from her, her eyes showing evident fear. The woman held out her hand, asking for her to accompany her. She held on to her hand for dear life, thinking if she never let go, she would never be hurt again. The woman asked her where she lived, but the young girl stared blankly. _

_She didn't remember._

Lana awoke from her deep sleep, remembering what she had dreamt. She shuddered, and stretched her legs. Her mother fluttered her eyelids, and opened them.

"Hey, mom." Lana yawned, grabbing hold of her hand.

"Lana.." Her mother let out a weak whisper. "I'm sorry.."

Lana almost laughed, she had said practically the same thing earlier. "For what, you never did anything." Lana's face was etched with confusion, looking down at her mother's peaceful, yet worried features.

"I'm sorry.."

"Sorry for what? Lana sensed urgency in her mother's voice, which was only peaking Lana's curiosity and confusion.

"I took you away.." With that final statement, she instantly flatlined, the dull, continuous beep filling the room and echoing in Lana's ears, drowning out what her mother had previously said. Nurses ran into the room, and Alex sprinted to the bedside, where he immediately started compressions, and charging up the paddles. After a couple of minutes, the room the monitor had been switched off, enveloping the room into a silence Lana couldn't bear. She stared straight ahead, her eyes blank. She barely heard the confirmation.

"Time of death, 15.27"

Lana briskly walked out of the room, toward the nearest restroom. She didn't bother to lock herself in, she just emptied the remains of her lunch into the toilet. She stared at herself in the mirror, seeing dark circles under her eyes, and the faraway, blank look. She couldn't process what had happened. Her mother just died. She was no longer in her life. She didn't exist anymore. Lana splashed water over her face, and as she opened her eyes, she recognised the woman from earlier, from the nurse's desk.

"I'm sorry..I heard about your mother.." She started, before Lana interrupted.

"It's okay. I'll get over it..I don't think she was my.." Lana trailed off, the fact just settling in the pit of her stomach. She put a hand over her mouth and ran for the nearest toilet. She felt the woman scrape her hair back, and whispered soothing words in her ear. She sat back, wiping her mouth.

"I'm sorry." Lana choked out, embarrassed of having chucked up in front of another doctor.

"Hey, it happens. I'm Addison." She introduced herself. Hoping her name might trigger something. Lana looked sideways, and managed a small smile.

"Lana Caoimhe Parker. But mainly Lana."

Addison felt a pang of pain. She didn't have her surname. Addison cracked a small smile, and squeezed Lana's shoulder. Lana stood up, brushing her jeans. She offered a hand to Addison, who pulled herself up. They exchanged smiles before exiting the restroom.

"Hey, erm, Lana? Would you like to spend the day with me in the NICU?" Addison offered, hoping to spend time with her. Lana smiled. "I'd love to" The two made their way up, Addison stealing glances at Lana. _She looks exactly like me,_ Addison realised, briefly closing her eyes, but opening them so she couldn't bump into anything.

_The phone rang, and Derek reached for it. He and Addison had searched everywhere for Lana. Addison was near to a breaking point, but she held it together, waiting for hope. Derek answered the phone._

"_Dr Shepherd? We found your daughter." At those words, Derek grabbed Addison and held her close, as he asked for more details. He hung up, and chased Addison out into the streets. When they reached the building that their daughter was in, mother and father burst through the doors, asking for her. A woman brought her out, but they hardly recognised her. The Lana they knew, was bubbly and oozing with confidence. This Lana was pale, and withdrawn. She looked up at Addison and Derek without a trace of recognition. She held on to the woman's hand, who introduced herself._

"_Hi. I'm Maria Parker, I found your daughter lost on the streets." Her voice was laced with accusatory undertones, making Derek and Addison uncomfortable, and guilty._

"_Ms Parker, with all due respect, but we searched high and low for her, we phoned every search party we could, we phoned the police, filed a missing person's report, we did everything we could to find our daughter." Derek said, trying to keep his voice strong. Lana looked confused, and started fiddling with her pocket. Addison leant down to her level, and kept eye contact. _

"_Hey baby, You can come home now." She said softly, stroking Lana's hair. Lana inched closer to Maria, not registering what was going on. Addison's heart slowly broke, as she heard Lana's small voice. _

"_Who are you?"_

_Derek put his hand on Addison's shoulder, tears threatening to come out of his own eyes. _

"_I'm your mom." Addison spoke, hoping this little bit of information would register in Lana's mind. Lana slowly slipped her hand out of Maria's as she gradually remembered._

"_Mommy," Lana cried, as she ran into Addison's embrace. Addison held her tight, never wanting to lose her again. Derek stooped down, and held the two of the most precious women in his life close to him. He buried his head in Addison's hair, but that didn't protect him from the bombshell that was to come._

"_I've contacted lawyers, they feel the same about this situation. Lana is being put under my care."_

_Addison stood up, disbelieving._

"_What? Why?!" She yelled, hoping this was all a terrible dream. Derek held on to Lana's hand, and laced his free one into Addison's. _

"_We all feel you neglected Lana. You lost her. She was found wandering the streets, full of bruises, and tatty clothes." Maria said calmly. Tears were streaming down Addison's face, feeling her world crumble. Lana latched on to her leg, sensing the heartbreak. _

"_We'll be contacting you." Maria said shortly, before taking Lana's hand. Lana struggled against her, screaming for Addison. Addison reached her arms out, but Lana was being dragged away from her, like in some unreal dream. Derek ran after Lana, but Maria had disappeared. He returned to see Addison collapsed on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. In one blink of an eye, they had lost their daughter._

Addison showed Lana around the NICU, stopping at the baby she had been treating earlier. Addison checked her vitals as Lana watched, studying Addison carefully.

"I've seen you before.. I just can't remember where.." Lana trailed off as Addison looked up at her, hope written across her face.

"Where have I seen you?" Lana asked softly, walking around the isolette to where Addison was standing. Addison turned, and looked into Lana's eyes, seeing the mask of confusion and a spark of recognition quickly flash across them.

"_Mommy stop!" Lana laughed, running across the beach. Addison was chasing her, eventually catching up to her and scooping her up in the air, twirling her around._

"_How does it feel like to fly?" Addison asked Lana, setting her down and lay beside her._

"_It feels windy." Came Lana's reply, making Addison laugh. _

Lana took a step back from Addison, fear evident on her face. Addison looked confused.

"What's wrong?"

"I.. I can't breathe.." Lana gasped for air, holding on to the isolette. Addison's maternal instincts kicked in, and helped Lana to sit, and put her head between her knees. She slowly rubbed her back, as Lana's breath became more regular. Lana sat up, and leaned into Addison. At that moment, the facts kicked in. Her mother was dead, but was she really her mother? Tears escaped from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and dripping onto Addison's lab coat. Addison held her tighter, knowing all she could do was to let her cry. She never wanted to let go, she didn't want to lose her again. Lana grasped Addison's coat, and pressed her face against her shoulder.

"Shhh.." Addison soothed, rubbing circles on her back. Lana briefly looked up at Addison before asking, "What is it like to fly?"

Addison closed her eyes, remembering the time on the beach. "It feels windy." She replied, smiling at young Lana's remark. Lana pulled back, and rested her head on Addison.

"I know you..I just..can't remember.." Lana said, the pain of not knowing evident on her face. It was at that moment, when Derek walked in, that Lana's whole world went black.

* * *

**A/N; Okay. Read, Review, constructive criticism..whatever you feel like..Oh, there will be Addek, but at the moment, it's kinda about Lana..littttttle secret though...Addison and Derek "pretend to be together" for her sake..but who knows if it'll develop..Okay zipping my mouth!!! jeeez, no wonder people don't tell me anything!**


	3. Loss

**A/N; Sorry for the long wait, I had damn college work to catch up on. Damn school. Damn College. Thanks for the reviews by the way!**

* * *

_She felt the invasion, skin upon skin, roughness upon softness. She closed her eyes, willing it to be over. She was only six years old, yet she was being invaded in places six year olds shouldn't. She may be young, but she realised the full force, the destructiveness of this act. She wanted to cry, scream, and shout. But she was silenced._

Lana woke up in a cold sweat in a bed, having relived the nightmare that haunted her sleep since that night. She stared up at the ceiling, trying to place where she was.

"Hey..Are you alright now?" Addison asked, concerned. Lana mutely nodded, as she tried to repress her tears, which stubbornly rolled down her face.

"Hey.." Addison scooted closer, wiping Lana's tears away with the edge of her lab coat. Addison soothed her as she broke down completely, giving in to her emotions that had been locked up for so many years.

"I should have stopped him..I couldn't..He kept on..he..in the street..he.. I couldn't stop him.." Lana cried, gasping for breath between each word she tried to say. Addison rubbed her back, holding her close. Lana's tears eventually subsided, and she lay back into the pillow, only to sit back up in confusion.

"What happened…where am I??" Lana began to panic a little, not being able to remember the events that occurred the day before.

"You fainted..so we brought you in the on call room." Addison replied, remembering too clearly the moment she almost remembered her and Derek. Lana looked up at her, silently probing her for any clues as to who she might be.

_She felt she was being torn away from the person she loved most…_

Lana's eyes masked with fear as she grasped Addison's hand. Derek walked in at that moment, and upon seeing Lana in distress, he hurried over as his paternal instincts switched on inside him. He rubbed Lana's back, as Addison had done before. His eyes met hers, to be met with despair.

Lana leant into Addison, refusing to cry.

"_Mommy!!" A young Lana screamed, her arms stretched out, desperate to be back in her mother's arms._

Lana pulled back, distress flitting across her features.

_The tall redhead stretched out her arms.. Young Lana couldn't see her face, her own tears clouding her vision._

Lana furiously wiped her eyes with her sleeve, clearing her vision. She looked back at Addison and Derek.

"Don't you have patients to attend to?" Lana asked, her tough exterior emerging above her vulnerability, wanting to ignore what her heart was telling her. As if on cue, Addison's pager beeped. She quickly dismissed it, paging Izzie instead. Lana looked on, disbelieving.

"Okay, why are you constantly watching over me? I mean, its not like you're my.." Lana trailed off, remembering her father still in surgery. Lana bolted out of the room, leaving Addison and Derek in her wake.

"Okay.." Derek sighed, sitting back down on the bunk bed. Addison sunk down, her head in her hands. "Why doesn't she remember us?" Addison cried out, the frustration bubbling to the surface.

"Maybe..she blocked it out. I read that people who had traumatic things happen to them, block out the memories." Derek offered, "But..I think because of what happened..she blocked out the years she had with us. Her parents."

Addison leant her head back on the wall, mulling over Derek's prognosis. "Makes sense." She muttered, fiddling with her hands. "I just..I want her back, Derek." Addison subconsciously leant into Derek, who in turn wrapped his arms around her, like he had done so many times in the previous years.

"Me too Addi..Me too.." Addison smiled at Derek's use of her nickname. She relished in the sensation of being around Derek, the sensation of his arms around her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment while it lasted.

* * *

Lana stopped by her mother's now empty room. It was empty, her mother long gone. She stepped in, running her hand along the made bed. She sat on the side, staring at the space that her mother had once occupied. She wanted to cry, scream and shout, but she didn't want to be in that vulnerable state again. She stared blankly at the pillows, not noticing Alex walk in.

"When you're young… you can hide, block it out… Ignore all the screaming... Shouting… but when you get older… You feel you have to protect her… but when you can't… you don't know who to be angrier at… him… or yourself…" Lana fixed her gaze on Alex as he spoke, noticing the pain in his eyes.

"How did you cope?" Lana asked, desperately wanting to know, even if it was too late, as her mother had already succumbed to her father's beatings.

"I went to wrestling classes, and the next time he laid a hand on her, I beat him up... he left." Alex looked down, having not admitted his past to anyone, except Lana. He sat next to her on the bed. "Did he beat you?"

Lana looked up at him sharply, being reminded of the ordeal she went through. "No..not him.." She stood up, and ran out the room, leaving Alex's mind spinning.

* * *

"Miss Parker?" Lana stopped as she heard her name being called.

"Dr Burke." Lana turned, waiting for the news of her father.

"We did everything we could but…"

"Thank you, Dr Burke." Lana replied quickly, already knowing the outcome. Before she could turn to run, Lana immediately collapsed, blackness overtaking her as she shook violently, eyes rolling to the back of her head as she was consumed with memories.

"Lana, Lana!!" She heard Addison's voice in the distance, sounding oddly familiar. Lana closed her eyes, letting the violence take over her body, wanting to give up, to give in. Darkness took over, a million thoughts, a million memories sprinting through her brain. She willed herself to wake up, hearing distant voices yelling. The seize calmed down, and she opened her eyes to look into the mirrored eyes she had missed, and loved for those stolen years.

* * *

**A/N; That was kind of a filler chapter, so the fact that she was abused, her mother being abused by her father, his death, why he died and her mood change will be explained in the next chapter..And the blocking out memories, that actually does happen, I read about it in my college class last week, and it made sense for Lana not to remember Addi and Derek for that reason. Plus, Claire forgot her ordeal with Ethan in Lost, and gradually got it back..that was an awesome episode..Anyway, Read and Review, tell me what you think!!**

**Emmy x**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N; Okay. Sorry for not updating..I had a lot on my mind..especially with school. Anyway, this will be the last update for a few weeks because I'm going away at the weekend, but I'll take my notebook and write..hopefully I'll get some inspiration lol. Anyway, R&R! (Thanks for the reviews by the way, you guys rock!)**

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Addison quickly stood as Derek entered the room, expecting a diagnosis.

"Well?" She tapped her foot, but not so that Lana would wake.

Derek sighed. "She has extra stress on her brain, causing her to seize, My guess is that because of the memories she blocked, she is also trying to remember, which is causing the stress."

Addison sank down onto the mini sofa, her head in her hands. Derek contemplated tiptoeing out of the room, but they were in this together, for their daughter. He sat next to her, and wrapped his arms around her, whispering consoling words in her ear. A noise from the bed interrupted them.

"Where am I?" Lana stirred, opening her eyes to see a blank wall of white above her. "Oh god, I'm not in one of those mental homes am I?" Lana squeezed her eyes shut, and opened them again, as if hoping the walls would regain their light blue colour of her bedroom back home.

Addison rose, grasping her hand. "You're in hospital, you had a seizure, and we need to keep you in for observation." Derek joined her side, keeping his hand on the small of her back. Lana noticed the interaction, and smiled slightly. However, the news of her condition slowly sunk in. "Wait, I had a seize?"

Derek nodded, but didn't go into any more detail. Lana sighed and lay back, pulling her hand away from Addison's.

"Can I ask you a question?" Lana asked, the thought having been burning in her mind ever since she woke up to them in the On call room. "Why are you guys always here for me?"

Addison opened her mouth to answer automatically, but Derek cut her off. "We're doctors, it's our job." Lana accepted this as a valid answer, but quickly butted in with a new one. "Don't you have other patients though?"

Addison grinned. "There is a little God given gift named Interns." Lana laughed, but immediately coughed. Addison leant forward, propping her up by instinct.

"Okay, you may be doctors, but aren't there rules about giving patients personal space?" Lana coughed out, swatting Addison away. Addison sighed, and closed her eyes. She opened them to find Lana's eyes looking blank at the wall in front. Derek checked her vitals, and stood back gripping Addison's hand. "We need to let her ride it out," he whispered.

_She lay shaking, calling out for her mom._

"Mom..mom..I..mom!!" Lana was screaming, her eyes frantically searching the room. Addison went to comfort her, but was restrained by Derek. "Let me go, she's my daughter!"

"She's OUR daughter, and she doesn't even know that!" Derek spoke forcefully, let logically. Addison stopped struggling, and watched helplessly as her daughter went through painful memories that she herself knew nothing about. Almost as soon as it started, Lana stopped, lying still and breathing heavily. Addison clutched Derek's scrub shirt, pain evident in her eyes. Derek rubbed Addison's back, his free hand running through her hair. Lana grasped the sheets, trying to salvage the scattered remnants of her memory. Her eyes snapped open, staring at Derek.

"Get..get out..please…get away..please..go.." Lana stuttered out, trying to sink back into the bed as far as she could go. Derek looked downcast, as he tried to approach her. Addison held his chest, seeing the tell tale signs of the reason why no woman would let any man near her after their experience. Addison's heart broke, knowing what her little girl had to go through. Derek took the message, and spoke to Addison through his eyes, something only they could do. He left, leaving Addison and Lana in his wake.

Addison turned to Lana, seeing her more relaxed once Derek had gone.

"What happened?" Addison wasn't known for treading around the subject, she tended to jump right into it, like ripping off a band aid. Lana reached for her hand, and grasped it tightly.

"Saying it out loud would make it feel more real.." Lana whispered, tears glistening in her eyes. Addison could feel her own tears prick behind her eyelids, but was determined to stay strong for Lana's sake. She took off her heels and climbed into the bed. She held Lana while she started to speak – and cry – at the same time.

"I was six, and somehow, I got lost in the street. I was walking.. looking for my parents. This guy.. he came up to me. He asked if I was lost, and he offered to help me home. We went down an alleyway, he said it was a shortcut. But he forced me down, stuffing these dirty tissues in my mouth to stop me screaming, to silence me. He took off my clothes, assuring me this was normal. It was only until I felt him against me, inside me, that I knew it wasn't." By now Lana was sobbing uncontrollably, unable to speak. Tears were also flowing down Addison's face, feeling the impact of her daughter having to go through such an experience at a young age. She also felt guilty, feeling it was her fault. Lana turned to Addison, and held on to her while she cried. The wheels were turning in Addison's head, wondering if this had anything to do with her not being able to remember anything before that point in her life.

Derek watched outside, looking in through the windows. He couldn't hear anything, but he could see both of them crying, holding each other. He was so engrossed in this, that he didn't notice Meredith come up.

"Who is that girl Dr Montgomery is holding?" She questioned, looking at Derek expectantly.

"Dr Montgomery _Shepherd." _Derek said on impulse. Meredith looked shocked, but covered it up quickly. "Uhm sure..right..ok..so, who is she holding?"

Derek leant against the glass, closing his eyes. "She's my daughter." Silence met him, and when he reopened his eyes, Meredith had gone.

Addison eased herself off the bed, careful not to disturb Lana, who had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. She walked out to where Derek was, who had slid down and sat with his back to the wall. She joined him, squeezing his arm. They sat like that, no words being needed as all they needed was each other.

* * *

"He has a freaking DAUGHTER?!" Cristina exclaimed, backing into the wall. "What's next, TWINS?!" Meredith pulled her knees up to her chest as Cristina carried on with her rant. Izzie, George and Alex turned the corner to see Cristina freaking out and Meredith looking depressed. Not like that was new.

"What's up?" asked Alex, plopping himself next to Meredith, not expecting an answer. "The McMarrieds have a daughter." Meredith deadpanned. Izzie and Alex shared shocked looks before questioning Meredith, and George spat out his strawberry milkshake, which also spurted out from his nose in a brilliant pink shower.

"WHAT?!"

"Is she adopted?"

"How did that happen?!"

"What's her name?"

"QUIET!!" Yelled Cristina, holding her hand out to stop the onslaught. " I realise this is a cataclysmic cosmic payback joke, but seriously, stop with the freaking questions!"

Izzie patted Meredith's hand, jumping slightly when both of their pagers beeped.

"Great, Mongomery wants us." Izzie yanked Meredith away from her spot, and together they walked cautiously toward the nurses' station as though they were walking to the guillotine.

"Great, you're here." Addison spoke crisply, her once warm demeanour evaporating now that she had other patients to attend to. "I need you to keep an eye on Lana Caoimhe Parker, the new VIP patient, make sure she has her meds and if she seizes, let her ride it out and page either me or Dr Shepherd. Got it?" Both Izzie and Meredith mutely nodded, and they trailed in to her room, Izzie grabbing her chart along the way.

"Hey" Lana greeted them as Izzie and Meredith walked in.

"Hey, I'm Dr Stevens and this is Dr Grey." Izzie motioned to Meredith, who clearly looked uncomfortable at being near her boyfriend's offspring.

Lana nodded. "So I guess Addison and Derek got tired of me then." She laughed lightly, not noticing the blatant confusion on the doctor's faces of her using informal naming of two doctors.

"So..tell us about your family then." Izzie encouraged, hoping to pry some information out of Lana. Meredith burned warning looks at the back of her head, not wanting to be in the room when Lana confirms her worst fears.

"I don't have any family." My mother died yesterday, and so did my dad." Lana refused to let any tears drop from her broken yet guarded eyes. Izzie tried not to look shocked, but failed miserably.

"What?" Lana asked, Meredith discreetly nudging Izzie in the ribs. "I thought your parents were still alive though?" Izzie asked, ignoring Meredith's sharp elbows.

"How would you know? You don't know me.." Izzie realised her mistake, but Meredith butted in. "Your chart hasn't been updated yet, it was only yesterday your parents died.." Lana raised an eyebrow, and settled for her answer. Izzie and Meredith stood around for a while, Lana looking a little uncomfortable with the tense atmosphere in the room. Meredith couldn't stand to stay in the room for much longer, so she left after administering another dose of medicine into Lana.

* * *

"Mer?" Derek walked down the deserted wing of the hospital, hoping to see her.

"I'm here." Derek followed her voice and sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her. "I may have a wife..I may have a daughter..but that isn't going to make me lose you." Derek nuzzled his neck against Meredith's, gently pressing his lips against her collarbone. They stayed like that for a while, in a comfortable silence, molded into each other as they caressed each other's arms and stole a few kisses. They were oblivious to the fact that Addison had walked in, immediately feeling the impact of seeing her husband with another woman, expressing his feelings like he used to do with her. She immediately walked out, feeling sick to her stomach. She decided to visit Lana, to see how Izzie and Meredith had gone with her. She entered her room to see Izzie standing by an empty bed.

"Where the hell is my daughter?!"

* * *

**A/N; That merder scene was unbelievably hard to write. But if there is going to be Addek, then merder has to break up..eventually. I'm under strict orders not to play it out fast...but if you keep reading and reviewing..I may give you some cookies..oh, and ideas for the next chapter with what you'd like to happen would be greatly appreciated..I'm so stuck! So yeah, R&R s'il vous plait! **


	5. Overdose

**A/N; Okay, I am SO sorry for not updating! I think it was before Easter the last time I updated, which is nearly 3 months.. so I am REALLY sorry, so I wrote a long chapter.. Thanks for all your reviews, by the way guys! **

**Oh, and I made Meredith evil in this chapter, so if anyone is reading this, and they like Meredith, then I apologise. **

* * *

"Where is my daughter?" Addison repeated, glaring at Izzie, trying to stare her down. The blonde looked just as shocked and worried as Addison, giving away the fact that she didn't know. Addison composed herself, and threw her hands up in despair. She stomped out of the room, yelling at who could hear her to start searching. Against her will, she stormed down the corridor where she found Derek and Meredith. Glaring at Meredith pointedly, she turned to Derek. 

"Lana is missing!" The hysteria in Addison's voice gave Derek the decency to look panicked, and he scrambled to his feet.

"We were in the middle of something." Meredith moaned, catching Derek's hand to pull herself up.

"Well EXCUSE me for interrupting your little make out session while someone is MISSING and could quite possibly be HURT!" Addison snapped, while half running up the hallway. Derek followed suit, with Meredith at his heels, a plan forming in her mind…

* * *

"Lana!" yelled Addison, frantically running through the hospital, only stopping to pull off her heels, cursing under her breath. Derek had taken the surgical wing, Addison the NICU, The Chief was paging each floor and Bailey was recruiting the interns to look in every room. 

"Add –"

"Don't Derek." Addison dismissed him as she sprinted out of the hospital, suddenly knowing where Lana might be. "If she's inherited anything from you, I know where she is." Derek tried to follow her to their car, but she pushed him away. "Don't Derek... I know where you'd rather be, just go, be with her." Addison numbly made her way to the car, hating the way Derek made her feel, hating the way that she is still so into him, when he is into somebody else. Derek stared after her for a while before making his way back into the hospital. Addison watched him go out of her rear view mirror, the familiar aching feeling in her chest. If she kept saying she didn't love him... then why does she still feel this way?

* * *

Lana stood staring at the azure water, the calm and serenity soothing her nerves. Her red hair was spread, flying behind in the wind. Her arms rested on the rail of the ferryboat, keeping her gaze on the rippling water. 

"Lana?" Lana didn't recognise the voice that called her name, so her gaze stayed fixed on the water, ignoring whoever it was. She heard a sigh, and the approaching sound of feet on the hard deck.

"Lana…"

Lana frustratedly turned to her left, to see a mousy blonde.

"How do you know my name?" She sighed, the fight being drained out of her.

"You look just like your mother." Meredith said smoothly, a look of malice glittering in her eyes.

"I look nothing like her." Lana snapped.

"Oh, but you do. You both have that trademark red hair, you have the same eyes, the same perfect figure.." Meredith trailed off, inwardly smirking.

If Lana was surprised by this, she didn't show it. She skimmed Meredith's figure. "And your figure makes a bad image for teens everywhere, desperate to look perfect, when in actuality they are killing themselves, to look like you." Lana retaliated. Meredith frowned. "Your 'humour' is exactly like your mother's too!"

Lana turned to look at Meredith. "One, my mother was nothing like what you are saying, she wouldn't say boo to a goose, and two, she's dead, and three, who said I was joking?"

With that, Lana turned to go, but Meredith grabbed her arm. "That Addison Montgomery... she isn't who you think."

Lana twisted out of her grasp, not letting Meredith know she had gotten to her. "Funny,' she quipped, "I thought it was Montgomery _Shepherd_."

Meredith's eyes darkened, as Lana stared her down. It was spiralling out of control, and if Meredith didn't do something soon, she would lose the chance to get back at Addison using the one person aside from Derek she cared for most…

* * *

"Page Dr Shepherd!" Meredith carried an unconscious Lana into the ER, laying her into a bed. 

"What the hell happened?! Where was she?!" Derek yelled, running into the ER, panic dotted across his face. He started checking her vitals, as Meredith started speaking.

"I found her on the ferryboat, Addison was there, and –" Derek abruptly stopped, fire in his eyes. "Addison?" He repeated, glancing down at the still figure. "She wouldn't.."

"Will she be alright?" Meredith asked, knowing full well what happened.

"Depends on the quantity of what she ingested." Derek numbly replied.

"Oh my god is she okay?!" Addison shouted, running through the ER.

"Funny you should ask!" Derek snapped, not looking at Addison.

"Hey, she's my daughter, I have the right to –"

"She's your daughter and you drugged her!" Derek counteracted, shock flitting across Addison's rage filled features.

"You think I did this?!" Addison paused, "Do you even know me at all anymore, Derek?" Addison walked out of the ER, leaving Derek and Meredith in the dust.

* * *

Izzie and Addison were waiting by the nurses station, awaiting Lana's results. The silence between the two was almost unbearable. 

"Results for Lana Caoimhe Parker?" Izzie jumped at the sound, as Addison grabbed the vital sheet of information.

"Overdose of paracetamol?!" She muttered "PARACETAMOL?!" Addison shrieked. She went in search of Derek, and waved the sheet in his face.

"Paracetamol, Derek, I don't own paracetamol let alone DRUG MY DAUGHTER WITH IT!" Derek looked slightly ashamed.

"But Meredith said –"

"Oh so what your mistress says, it must be true, right? Never mind your wife, the love of your life, your best friend for over 11 freaking YEARS! You know, there was me thinking you were trying, but no, you still want her!" Addison was by now shaking, sobbing uncontrollably. Derek stood dumbfounded, shocked into reality by what she had said. As Addison sank to the ground, Derek could only stare at the broken beauty before him. He seemed rooted to the spot, not wanting to damage her more, but oh so wanting to love her. Addison tried to compose herself, wanting Derek out of the room, she didn't want him to see her superficially fix herself, and more than that, she was afraid she would let him break her even more.

* * *

"Hey" Lana croaked out, she looked around at her surroundings. "Why the hell am I in this hellhole again?" She asked Addison. 

"Someone gave you an overdose." Came the vague reply. An idea flitted across Addison's mind as she leant forward.

"Who was the last person you saw before you blacked out?"

Lana frowned, trying to piece together the shattered remnants of the events that occurred before she entered the hospital as a patient.

"She was skinny… Very skinny… and had mousy blonde hair, and the most goddamn annoying voice…" Lana squinted, as if trying to picture a face. "I don't know her first name… but she knew me… she kept telling me stuff about how I look like my mother… but I don't…." Lana looked at Addison, suddenly remembering. "It was Dr Grey. She said you're not who I think you are…" Addison's heart plummeted to the depths, the sudden realization dawning upon her, making it difficult for her to breathe.

Lana stared at Addison, clocks ticking in her brain.

"She described you.."

Addison was about to say something when Derek walked in. Giving Addison a soft smile, and subconsciously linked his fingers with hers. He fixed his gaze on Lana, who smiled at the exhange.

"How are you doing?" Lana nodded, as if saying she was fine. She briefly closed her eyes, images of a younger Lana screaming for her mother flitting across her closed eyelids. Her eyes snapped open to see Dr Bailey checking over her chart.

"Lana, you can be dismissed as soon as you want." Lana nodded, before the sudden realisation that she has nowhere to go hit her.

"I… I don't…-" Addison sensed her panic, and swiftly stepped in.

"There's a hotel nearby –"

"I have no money"

"-I'll rent you a room" Addison finished, earning a surprised look from Lana.

"I can't let you do that for me" Lana shook her head.

"Or… you can stay in my room, or you sleep on the streets." Addison shrugged.

Lana gave her an amused look. "Why do you live in a hotel room?" Addison glanced at Derek, before cryptically replying. "I couldn't stay anywhere else."

Lana leant back on the pillows, weighing the options. "I guess sleeping rough would be cheaper" she joked. "But seriously, I can't let you do that just for me…"

Addison scooted closer to Lana, grasping her hand. You've been through a lot already. You don't need to go through more pain," she said softly. Lana mutely nodded, and squeezed Addison's hand.

"I'll give you time to get ready." Addison told her, getting up to leave.

"Thank you" Lana whispered. Addison smiled back at her. Derek grabbed her hand and led her out into the hall.

"What the hell was that?" He hissed, not letting go of her wrist.

"That was me being a mother to my child!" Addison hissed back, trying to pry his fingers off. "I don't see you being a father! Or a husband for that matter!" With that, Addison walked away, leaving Derek to think about how he could fix this, if the cuts aren't running too deep.

Derek turned to the window, and watched Lana as prepared to leave. He wondered when she had become a young, assertive woman, full of questions, pain, and joy. His heart ached, for the lost years, for the lost childhood they could have shared. For the first time since seeing her again, he became full of determination to get his daughter, and his wife back.

* * *

**A/N; Okay.. Tell me what you think.. Nex chapter.. Someone turns up.. secrets are revealed.. and a showdown.. I've already written the next chapter in my notebook, so I'll type it out soon, and hopefully it should be here by tonight or tomorrow morning!**


	6. Showdown

**A/N; Okay I'm proud of myself! 2 updates in the space of 12 hours! **

* * *

"Wow, this place is awesome!" Lana gasped as she stepped into Addison's suite. The main area was decorated in different shades of red, the king sized bed backed up against the wall, a cherry wood bedside table, and a widescreen television opposite. Lana walked around in awe, stepping into the en suite bathroom, far bigger than one she had ever seen. 

"How can you afford this?" Lana asked as she stepped back out into the room. Addison grinned.

"Hey, I'm a world renowned surgeon!" She quipped, opening a door. "And this, Lana, is your bedroom."

Lana stared at the room before her. "Oh my gosh…" She walked over the deep red carpet, and glanced over at the colour coordinated sofa with a cream coloured throw over it. She stood at the double bed, the fluffed pillows and soft sheets encasing the mattress. Lana turned and fell backwards on the bed, letting out an audible sigh.

"Like it?" Addison asked.

"Love it!"

* * *

"Dr Montgomery?" 

"It's Dr Montgomery Shepherd to you."

"Not for long it won't be." Meredith snottily remarked. Addison whirled around and slammed the chart on the surface next to Meredith.

"And what makes you think that?"

"He loves me. Even you can't deny it." As much as Addison wanted to agree, something inside of her snapped.

"So after eleven years of marriage he suddenly throws away that love for a two month fling?" Addison snapped, her eyes hardening. "All it was for you was a drunken one night stand which only developed after you found out he was your boss. Now tell me, _Dr Grey_, what kind of woman goes after her boss? And what kind of woman continues to chase said boss after she finds out he is married and has a child?!"

Meredith opened her mouth, but quickly shut it after Addison mentioned the word 'child'. Addison noticed this, and carried on.

"Oh yes, Grey, a child. Now tell me this, why did you give her an overdose?"

"I didn't"

"So now you're adding 'liar' to your charming list of attributes?"

Meredith stared blankly at Addison, who continued, "Well, so far, you are a dirty mistress, a slut, whore, home wrecker, cheap hooker, bitch, immature, selfish, a 12 year old, and now, a liar. Oh, and you were almost a murderer. So how's that for a charming list to give to the many guys you screw with?"

Meredith glared at Addison, hate visible in her eyes. Addison smiled and walked colder to Meredith, keeping eye contact, and saying in a soft, threatening voice.

"If you ever come within a thousand feet of Lana, I swear I will get you kicked off the program and unable to work in any hospital in America, and that is a promise." Addison grinned at Meredith before walking off, heels clicking every step.

"I mean it Grey!" Addison called over her shoulder, a grin on her face as she recalled the look of sheer terror on the small woman's features.

* * *

Upon exploring the hotel room, Lana stumbled across Addison's photo album. She flipped through photos of Addison and Derek, smiling at the chemistry that radiated off the images. Lana stuck them back, feeling invasive. She wandered back to her room when the door opened. 

"I'm ho-ome!" Addison's voice rang out. Lana went to greet her.

"Hey, how was work?" Lana asked. Addison dropped her bag in the closet and took off her heels. Lana ogled the bag and shoes. "Are those prada?!" She exclaimed, pointing it the items. She promptly opened the closet, but immediately shut it with a look of shock on her face.

"Do you have anything non designer?!"

Addison laughed. "What size shoe do you take?"

"Uh, seven I think." Addison went to the closet and pulled out a pair of prada pumps. "Here, try those on."

Lana stared in disbelief. "Seriously?!" They must have cost a bomb!"

"I'm not going to wear them so you may as well put some use to them." Addison said reasonably. Lana eyed her wearily. "They're getting lonely-y!" Addison dangled the shoes in front of Lana's eyes. She immediately grabbed them. "Well, if you put it that way.." Addison laughed and flopped face first into the bed.

Lana sat on the chair, fiddling with her hands. "How come you don't stay with Derek?"

"He insists he stays in that freaking trailer." Came the muffled reply. Lana laughed, not imagining the sophisticated woman staying in a cramped trailer.

* * *

"Favourite Broadway show?" 

"Phantom of the Opera."

"Hmm… I'm partial to that and Wicked." Addison replied, munching on Chinese noodles.

"I've never seen that." Lana said, taking a slice of pizza.

"I'll take you sometime." Addison slurped up the last noodle, causing Lana to laugh.

"For a world renowned surgeon from upper class New York, you sure eat messy!"

Addison threw a pillow at Lana, laughing. "I only eat messy in the comfort of my hotel room! I do have a reputation to hold, you know!"

"Hmm yes, Satan slurps noodles… that would be interesting gossip for Seattle Grace." Lana mused.

"Okay, favourite band?" Addison asked Lana.

"U2. I remember it being played to me when I was young… I've loved them ever since."

_That's because I played it to you… _Addison paused, remembering the times she and Lana would dance crazily around the living room in their brownstone to the many songs of U2. A smile crossed her face.

"Mine too.." Addison said, closing her eyes and leaning back. Lana followed her cue and lay next to her, closing her eyes, remembering the music, and the crazy dance routines, but in her memory, she is dancing alone.

* * *

A knock at the door woke them from their rest. Addison cursed as she hoisted herself out of the bed. Lana sat up, rubbing her eyes. She walked to the door, not recognising the man that stood there. But she knew Addison did. Because there was that look of shock on her face. 

"Mark.." Addison stammered out, not trusting herself to speak anymore.

"Heey Addi! Long time, no see!" Mark breezed in into the room, and upon seeing Lana, his face broke into a huge grin.

"Hey there kiddo!" He ruffled her hair, and she turned away in disgust. Addison stood protectively over Lana, as if trying to protect her from the inevitable.

"So, Addison, you going to re introduce me to little Lana? Well, she's big now, what happened?

Addison rested a hand on Lana's shoulder.

"Kiddo –"

"My name is Lana." She said with gritted teeth.

Mark saluted her, and turned to Addison.

"What are you doing here, Mark?" Addison asked.

"I've come to take you and little munchkin here home!"

Lana stepped in. "I am not going anywhere with you, I don't even know you!"

Mark suddenly stopped, and looked at Addison in disbelief.

"She doesn't remember?"

"Remember what?" Lana asked exasperatedly. She looked up at Addison, who looked back at her, with clear eyes.

"_MOMMY!" Young Lana yelled, struggling to run back to her mother. Addison reached out, but she was gradually getting smaller as she was being taken away…_

Lana stepped back, keeping her gaze fixed on Addison.

"Who are you?" she breathed. Addison opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She sat down.

"Can you go to your room? Mark and I need to talk…"

"Why?" Lana shot back.

"Because I said –"

"Because you said so? You're not my mom."

Time seemed to stop still as Addison lifted her head to gaze at the younger version of herself, her daughter. Lana gazed back, and the years came tumbling out, the look of love in Addison's eyes triggering her memory.

Suddenly, the puzzle pieces fit perfectly, and Lana knew the truth before Addison uttered those three words.

"Yes, I am."

* * *

**A/N; Hope you liked it! From this moment, I don't know what I'm going to do in the next chapter, and I have exams, so it may be a while, but I swear, this time, it won't be another 3 month wait! R&R s'il vous plait!**


	7. Found

**A/N; Heya, again! New chapter, a little late, but hey, at least it wasn't three months again! So thanks for the reviews, and I will include a slap next chapter :p **

**_R&R!!_**

* * *

Lana stood still, the sound of the words ringing in her ears. 

"_You're not my mother…"_

"..._Yes I am!"_

Addison inched closer to Lana, ignoring the smug look on Mark's face. Lana backed up against the wall, bile rising in her throat. Suddenly, everything made sense, her mom's last words, her flashbacks, the way Addison was treating her. Addison reached out for Lana, and overcome with a sense of déjà vu, Lana did the only thing she ever did in times like this; she ran.

* * *

"Derek?" The distraught voice at the other end of the line caused Derek to sit up alert. 

"Addi?" Derek could tell something had happened, she would always talk quietly when she wasn't alright.

"She knows…" Everything he thought he knew crumbled around him as Addison delivered the news.

"I'll be right there." Derek snapped his phone shut and jumped into his car, driving as fast as he can do the hotel.

* * *

Addison sat on the bed, tears streaming down her face. Mark paced up and down, refusing to look at her. A knock at the door woke them both from their thoughts, and Addison jumped at the chance to move away from Mark. 

"Derek." Addison breathed a sigh of relief as Derek stormed the hotel room. He turned to Addison.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"I came to bring them back." Mark said smugly, his smirk stretched across his chiselled features. Derek sharply turned to Mark, and backed him up against the wall.

"They are MY family, Mark, not yours, so leave us the hell alone!" Derek turned to lead Addison out of the room, but Mark opened his mouth.

"All due respect there Derek, but since when did you treat them like your family? You're not even married, and you never looked for your kid after she was taken!" Derek sharply turned, swinging his arm to punch Mark in the face. He stumbled back into the desk, wiping his now bleeding nose.

"Good luck fixing that." Derek snarled at Mark, before slamming the door shut.

* * *

"What happened?" Derek glanced nervously at Addison, who hadn't stopped crying since he had set eyes on her in the hotel. 

"Mark opened his big mouth, I told Lana to stay away, so we could talk, and she said I wasn't her mother…" Addison choked out, leaving the rest to Derek, who figured out the rest.

"Where is she?" Derek asked, earning a look from Addison, to which he nodded and took left turn to the ferry dock.

"She takes after you, you know." Addison spoke softly, gesturing to the ferry boats. "She's been here a lot."

Derek stared out toward the motionless ferry boat, remembering the times he had stood at the top deck, taking photographs of the scenery. He took Addison's hand, and squeezed it reassuringly. They got out of the car, and made their way toward the ferryboat, not knowing what the confrontation would bring.

* * *

Lana stood in her spot, watching the waves crash against the side, a spray of sea water splashing up into her welcoming face. The salt mingled with her tears, streaking down her cheeks. She lifted her face up towards the stars, enjoying the feel of the wind through her hair. She looked around the ferryboat, seeing families and young children with their parents, and wondering if she had ever had that with Addison and Derek. Deep down she knew she had, but what use was it if she had none of the memories? 

Addison and Derek made their way toward the outlined figure at the back of the ferry. The flowing red hair distinguished her from most people.

"Hey" Addison said softly, grasping the cool metal bar. Lana turned around, facing Derek and Addison, not bothering to wipe away her tears.

"I want to know what happened." Derek inwardly winced at her toneless voice, void of emotion that was so clearly displayed on her face. Derek looked into her eyes, and saw hurt, betrayal, pain, but love also sparked through the dark depths. He glanced at Addison, who also looked at him. They spoke to each other through their own eyes, a feat only they could do. Levels of emotion and volume were radiated through, each agreeing that for Lana's sake; they would 'pretend' to stay together. Addison nodded, and turned to face Lana.

"You were six –" She began, her voice breaking, unable to say anything more. Lana took charge, shaking her head. "No.. I know what happened… spare me the gory details…What happened after? What did you do?"

Addison closed her eyes, the memories fresh in her mind, of how she and Derek had grown absent from each other, the pain of losing their child fresh in their hearts. She remembers the times Derek would ignore her, forget her birthdays and anniversaries, leading up to the point where she snapped and slept with Mark.

Derek sensed her distress, and stepped in.

"We fought, we tried to find you, we called every lawyer in the city, we tried to track you down, we stayed strong in the hopes of finding you again."

Lana looked down, and looked up again, fresh tears sparkling in her eyes. "You found me." She whispered, gripping the rail. "I just wish it had been sooner." Addison let a tear slip out of her eye, and held Lana's hand.

"We found you, Lana," She repeated, "And we have no intention of ever letting you go." Derek held Addison's free hand, and drew the three of them into an embrace. As they stood with arms around each other, they could only hope that nothing could tear them apart again.

* * *

**A/N; So, there you go. I hope you liked it :) Please Review, they make my brain swirl with happy sprinkles :D**


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